How many flags would a woodchuck steal?

… If a woodchuck wanted a flag?

Apparently the answer is 75.

A little light humor for Friday the 13th, from the CBS news website:

Woodchucks reportedly stole flags from Hudson, NY cemetery

HUDSON, N.Y. – How many flags could a woodchuck steal if a woodchuck could steal flags?

Apparently, quite a few.

When authorities in Hudson, N.Y., used cameras to try and catch a thief who reportedly stole 75 flags from Civil War-era graves around Independence Day they discovered that the culprits were woodchucks living in holes beneath the cemetery, Mayor Bill Hallenbeck told the Register-Star.

The cameras didn’t catch any critters red-handed, but according to Hallenbeck, there was enough circumstantial evidence on the tapes to declare the case solved.

Hallenbeck said he was happy to hear the thefts weren’t the work of a human resident.

“I’m glad we don’t have someone who has taken it upon themselves to desecrate the stones and the flags in front of them,” Hallenbeck told the Register-Star.

Hallenbeck said that the woodchucks, also known as groundhogs, were attracted to a substance that coats the flags. Hudson police said other municipalities have reported similar problems.

Turning now to the investigative reporters on the scene….

Hey! Check out the video capture around 40 seconds in!

This woodchuck shows no fear in the face of a battery of 24-pdr flank howitzers. Brazen and bold woodchuck!

Hopefully the woodchuck will receive a suspended sentence and be entered into the witness relocation program.